Sorry……

As I write this my fingers are dirty from gardening, scratches on my arms bear testimony to the struggle to get rid of some of the weeds and undesirables in the front garden flower bed. There is a trug full of stuff fit only for the compost heap and a pile of snails blinking in the sunlight, wondering what’s happened to their moist warm home under the burgeoning weeds now removed.

Its a lovely breezy sunny afternoon and just the right sort of day for gardening, we’ve bought compost and some new plants and other paraphernalia. My daughter and I have worked in companionable effort, removing the old, dead or dying plants and weeds and rescued some nearly drowned cornflower seedlings we planted a few weeks ago. 

So what’s this to do with sorry? Well you know how hard it is to say we’re sorry for things sometimes, our pride gets in the way and we don’t want to lose face or back down and admit we might have been in the wrong. Don’t want to accept we may have hurt or upset someone.

The hurt festers, the pride festers and before you know it you’ve got a whole patch of weeds in your soul. When we don’t say sorry and ask the other person to forgive us we get cluttered up. When we don’t say sorry the other person may be mad at us, stop talking to us or cut themselves off completely.

There are families at war where unforgiveness and hurt has grown weeds on both sides. Where things are so overgrown and toxic that no one has any peace.

I find it hard to live with that kind of tension, although I don’t find it easy I try to say sorry and not let the sun go down on an argument or bad feelings. Yesterday I was unduly snappy with my nearest and dearest. I swallowed my pride and made my peace at bedtime. I didn’t want the weeds  to grow overnight in my soul.

So our garden is getting there, we’ve made some progress, cleared some weeds, cleared the air. Pulled up the darn things by the roots which went down deep. Do you need to make peace with someone? Have you got roots of hurt that go down deep, are you battling with your pride, refusing to say sorry or refusing to forgive?

Jesus said sorry for us all, for once and for all on the cross. He made the ultimate sacrifice so that we could be forgiven for all the things we’ve ever done. He died to make our peace with God.

Years ago I realised my life was a complete mess, I kept battling the same problems and finally came to the end of myself. I knew that I had to make my peace with God and ask Him to forgive me for all the stupid mistakes I’d made and for all the things I’d done that might have hurt other people. The relief was immense as I filled ten very tear stained pages of an old exercise book, pouring out my heart and my hurt.

I continue to make mistakes, we all do, I mess up and regret it but now I know there is a way to be free. I need to be willing to say sorry and I need to be willing to forgive. Neither is easy but it makes a huge difference. Not just to me but to others. If you want that kind of peace, want to be free of your past then you just have to turn to the One who can set you free. “Ask and it shall be given unto you” Dare you ?

With love

Alice

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About alicesapplesofgold

I'm a mother and grandmother, though not so old, and live in one of the most beautiful places in the country, Cornwall. fortunate enough to live by the sea I never want to be too far away from its sight and sound. I love music, words, painting, life, my family, my friends and most of all my faith. I live on the same roller coaster as everyone else but love to encourage others, support them when they're struggling and most of all want to have made a difference to the world by the time I leave it. I believe faith is an intimate part of everyday life and seek to relate the ordinary to the divine. It is the encouragement of others that has brought me to this point.
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