The roller coaster has finally stopped, coming to an end of hair raising, heart stopping rides this morning after a long journey. Eternal stillness in a busy world.
My beloved friend left us on a grey breezy morning flecked with rain. The end came so suddenly and quietly, but he was not alone. I had the great joy and privilege to have shared the last two years and nine months of his life. I had promised to be there with him right to the end. I was able to spend his last night on earth sleeping next to him and holding his hand.
In that moment of leaving, life changed in the twinkling of an eye, we lost a beloved friend and father, heaven gained a new recruit. The bitter sweetness of the last four and a half months culminating in torrents of tears, but also comfort in knowing that all that could be done had been done. Love had shone in the darkness of cancer, promises made were kept and there was a triumph in a journey that twisted and turned but always kept love as its driving force.
I shall miss him, oh how I will miss him, the little things that made the big thing. The routines we created learning to live with the cancer, to adapt every time the picture changed. Its still the end of that first day, raw edges of grief catch the heart unawares, but the light is still shining. God’s promise is that the darkness can never put out the light.
What shines now as I read the diaries of the roller coaster is the blessings that came with the pain. the moments of pure joy that came with the sorrow. What a richness we shared in such a short time, how precious we made those moments when we laughed, cried, prayed or just sat in comfortable silence.
I don’t know how I will fare over the weeks and months ahead but of one thing I am sure. My life is that much richer for having known you my friend, thank you for the blessings you leave me and for allowing me to bless you with my love. Above all Lord , thank You for the opportunity to make a difference, to give without measure, to love without limits, to have shared my friend’s life to the end.
I have been overwhelmed with messages of love and condolence, never have I felt more blessed than today despite the loss of my dearest friend. Goodbye my gentle giant, I shall miss you.